Lepo mi Duvri lemi Fagtroku

I ba birju, e helba mio lepo fasru snalo {/guo}, ice be groda rofpiu le {maltosi/maltycli}ce brona breba, jio la Grom papa kambei bei, le cmasitci.

This demonstrates that a comma does not end a lepo clause (unless it is ending something the lepo clause is embedded in). Without guo, the ice clause becomes part of the lepo clause. Also maltosi already exists in LOD for the sugar maltose. Since maltose is derived from malt, I made malti for malt, and maltycli for malt-like/malti.

rofpiu (rofsu pisku) B is a hunk/irregular piece of F

Nao, ne notbi fitrua gi, miu pa godzi le gratrigru, e gandio dzoru nia pife {horta/horto}

As far as I know, the word for hour has always been horto since GMR, but consistently throughout FVL, Aleks has used horta without comment by JCB. There is another interesting point here as well. Gi is used to 'front' arguments in reverse order, in this case, the route. What is not clear to me is what happens when a compound predicate is present, as occurs here. In the situation preda e prede, each predicate can have its own arguments, and the compound predicate can have additional arguments. Which last argument is fronted? In this case it does not matter since both godzi and dzoru have similar arguments in the final place.

I, na lepo miu fadgoi le ganrorpai je ne cmamoa gue ji clesi lo tricu {/guo}, le Mren Snorrydin {/ga}skitu ne troku, e fanve nenfoldi leSai badlo

There was a double mistake here. Firstly the ji clause was not terminated, so the whole rest of the sentence became part of the ji clause. However, terminating it with gui did not help, because then the lepo clause was not terminated. However, termination of the lepo clause with guo forces a virtual gui to terminate the ji clause, which shows up the other error of either not pllacing a comma after Snorrydin, or placing a ga before skitu, which is the solution I prefer.

Io fa nerbi ga lepo tu pafko letu fagtroku, le dertu, hue Sai, djadou {/gu}

Without the gu, the parser does not know where to end the UI, and fails to parse. It will parse with just the hue Sai, however.

Fa tio, gozbei foi ti, ice le fagro spicu gi, mu fa begco lepo feisei helba tu, hue Sai.

This is the first use by APL of something we discussed, as an alternative to Greek letter anaphora, using a double replacement (feisei) for fagro spicu. If you prefer, you can consider it an acronym, which has the same grammar.

Hue Sai, krostimao {/gu}

As before, a hue expression standing alone, and having an explicit predicate attached, needs a gu closure for the parser. (Else it might be understood as a command, Sai said: Interrupt!). Also a stand-alone speaker identification followed by a colon is used to indicate that the following paragraph is what is spoken.
dirtiacle dirco,tisla,clesi aimless/aimlessly
kapsia kapni sitfa a clearing, oprn area.
norpilno no pilno rolling (as countryside), hilly
fansulba fanve sulba a depression, the reverse of mound
skicea skitu cenja K sit down on B,
falka/e/i/o/u a bird of the genus Falco
kerclidu kerti clidu K glide to D from S via V
sackai start-quality K begin to do P

Inumoi mi {/nufunu}prupuo le pento je le horno, le bidje je le holdu

APL's English translation has the two places reversed, which seems the normal order for me.
I have therefore defined prupuo in LOD as K probe/poke D with B, which would require reversing the two terms above. The preferable way is to put them in the order of the definition, as the E does, but the minimal change is to use nufunu to bring about the reversal.

Vi lepu condi je lio saneniceimei, le horno pa totco ba ji hardu.

I personally, and I believe JCB as well, preferred the structure Vi lepu condi cenmetro lio saneni
for dealing with unit numbers, rather than combining numbers with unit abbreviations that might need explanation.
dermroza dertu mroza - B is a pick (for breaking up soil etc.)

I ({/,}ne spali je tei ga nu forma lepu rande.

This is a problem with LIP that will eventually be fixed. Ine is recognized as a letteral if no comma is present. I mention it only because the current LIP does not parse this sentence.

Inokou {/lepo}mi filmo lepo nurmue bunbo {/guo guo}, mi volcue li, Mi gatytaa tu, Hoi Landi, lemi fagtroku, lu

I rather think this should be i, nokou, since nokou is being used as a preposition rather than a conjunction, which requires a pause to indicated that is is not the conjunction inukou. As a preposition it takes an argument, not a clause, so a lepo must be inserted. Finally, alas, to avoid mi being swallowed as an argument of bunbo or filmo, we must have guo guo to close off both lepo clauses.
volcue volsi cutse K say aloud B to D
faedzo fanve dzoru K walk back to D from S via V
soicle sonli clika, sleepy/sleepily

Nao, mi hirti lopo la Mren Snorrydin {/ga}soicli cutse li, sue Hm, lo mutce gudbi, lu

This is another case where, if one wishes to drop the comma after a name, ga must be used before the main predicate. Also, as written, lo mutce gudbi is an argument of sue Hm. Since the two remarks are really separate, it would have been better to have said ...cutse li, sue Hm, lu, e li, lo mutce gudbi, lu.

Ibuo kanoi ka tu vizlei fei {/,}su notbi pernu, ki tu genza vizlei fei cao mi, ki le fagro spicu no fa hijra fei.

This is an anomaly in the grammar, which allows letterals to be combined with numbers to make dimensioned numbers. Henci fei and su were combined into a single 'number' unless a pause was inserted. Dimensioned numbers have largely disappeared in favour of the form
ji (unit) lio (quantity)

cmareu smalo trelu, a small bar or rod

I klipu letu fagtroku vi le nenri je levi sakli, kii le gasti.

Just as a guess, I think JCB might have wanted I kinklipu letu fagtroku ze le gasti, vi le nenri je levi sakli, with his preference for specific predicates over predicates modified by prepositional phrases.

I {/,] tie le horno, Sai clemao le grasa, ne cmalo ge dertu spaci

Without the comma, I swallows the tie (one of these undesirable superset phenomena) leaving le horno as the 'subject' and Sai as the second argument. However, a pause is fairly natural in this position.

I leSai badlo gi, Sai tokna ne cmalo hancai je lo drani grasa ze lo cmacma ge tricu badjo, e, vi le dertu gu madzo ba ji clika lo nensu

This sentence does not parse, because the structure Argument Predicate (which includes its termset) e Predicate, does not permit insertion of a prepositional phrase ahead of the second predicate. If the prepositional phrase is displaced to a position after the predicate, it parses successfully. However, as I mentioned earlier, I rather think that the fronted argument applies to both predicates of a compound predicate, so I think it better to repeat the subject, and combine the two clauses with ice, as follows:

I leSai badjo gi, Sai tokna ne cmalo hancai je lo drani grasa ze le cmacma ge tricu badjo, ice vi le dertu, Sai madzo ba ji clika lo nensu.

Pa nerbi ga lepo mi [rirvei/riyvei] trati

rir is the affix for rirda (record) While rar is used as an affix for ra, and ror for ro, ri does not have rir. Therefore we need to use y as a hyphen
riyvei ri vetci - several-times
nornitsea no nitci setfa K mess up/disarrange/upset B on D
[I hope La Mren Snorrydin was looking the other way when all these trials were going on :>), because I think Aleks is going to need the help of the fagro spicu later]

I la Mren Snorrydin [/ga] pazfro ge genza balci nei.
or , as abive,

{Mie/Miu}niaza santi skitu va, pia lepo le cmacma flami ga vijkaa

goltyclafo goltu clafo K chuckle at D.

Nao nia lepo miu damkaa le ganrorpai {/guo}, la Mren Snorrydin {/ga} nufunu vizmao mi lepo duohu kinsea lo drani moshi ze lo cmalpiucea ge ranta mubre, guu ji nu plizo lo dracti.

The unusual point here is the additional use of guu (which is machine parsed as GUU2, which allows the ji clause to refer to the entire expression lo drani moshi ze lo cmalpiucea ge ranta mubre, instead of just the crumbled rotten wood, as it would without the guu. Also, without the guo, the lepo clause swallows la
Mren Snorrydin
as well as the nufunu vizmao .... if ga or comma is not included after Snorrydin

Lo danri fagro sui {/ga}nu ponsu ia le fagro spicu

Not a sentence without the ga. The most common error of logli.